Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
