My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize