used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
