Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
