is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
