This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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