is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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