She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize