u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
