You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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