His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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