i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
