We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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