apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
