I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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