If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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