good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
