Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
