he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
