It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
