Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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