what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
