I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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