He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
my liver is dry heaving
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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