i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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