I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize