i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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