I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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