Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
