Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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