Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
