If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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