I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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