I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
