Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize