she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
