if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
