Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
