the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
