he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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