lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
