Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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