Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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