my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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