i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
