oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
