im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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