"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
