Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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