It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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