What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
