I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
