There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
