and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
